Thread: More

Page 3 of 6 FirstFirst 12345 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 51
  1. #21  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    I came to Texas as soon as I could
    Posts
    14,368
    The widow Brown down the street was telling us about her daughter's visit. He told us that the daughter complained about her mothers wrinkled stockings she wore this summer.

    Mrs Brown told us she hasn't worn any stockings this summer.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
    Reply With Quote  
     

  2. #22  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    I came to Texas as soon as I could
    Posts
    14,368
    The two naval offcers were halfway out of their submarine looking down on the situation at hand. The submarine was on top of a mountain.

    The senior offcer looked at his subordinate and yelled, “I told you to never text and sub!"

    ------------

    Perfect timing for the Atlantic fleet.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
    Reply With Quote  
     

  3. #23  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    I came to Texas as soon as I could
    Posts
    14,368
    I think my cousin might be a little over-safety conscious.

    She has rear view mirrors on her treadmill.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
    Reply With Quote  
     

  4. #24  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    I came to Texas as soon as I could
    Posts
    14,368
    How much do dead batteries cost?

    Nothing.

    They are free of charge.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
    Reply With Quote  
     

  5. #25  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    I came to Texas as soon as I could
    Posts
    14,368
    When arguing with my wife, I always get the last word(s):

    “Yes, dear. You’re right. I’m sorry.”
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
    Reply With Quote  
     

  6. #26  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    I came to Texas as soon as I could
    Posts
    14,368
    At my last eye exam I asked the optometrist, “Why don’t y’all spell check the words on that chart?”
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
    Reply With Quote  
     

  7. #27  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    I came to Texas as soon as I could
    Posts
    14,368
    God must love stupid people.

    He made so many of them.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
    Reply With Quote  
     

  8. #28  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    I came to Texas as soon as I could
    Posts
    14,368
    My cousin volunteered for the army but failed the physical.

    He's got planter warts, flat feet, bunions, corns and hammertoe.

    Yep, he was de-feeted.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
    Reply With Quote  
     

  9. #29  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    I came to Texas as soon as I could
    Posts
    14,368
    My daughter is totally not spontaneous.

    She buys green bananas.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
    Reply With Quote  
     

  10. #30  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    I came to Texas as soon as I could
    Posts
    14,368
    The other day I met a man with one leg named Larry.

    I forgot to ask what his other leg is called.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
    Reply With Quote  
     

Bookmarks
Bookmarks
Posting Permissions
  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •