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  1. #1 _____ walks into a bar. 
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    A hamburger walks into a bar.

    The bartender says "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  2. #2  
    Power CUer FlaGator's Avatar
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    A SQL Query walks into a bar and sees two tables. The SQL Query asks "May I join you?"
    Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
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  3. #3  
    Senior Member Zathras's Avatar
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    Two men walk into a bar.

    The third man ducks.
    Solve a man's problem with violence and help him for a day. Teach a man how to solve his problems with violence, help him for a lifetime - Belkar Bitterleaf

    Liberalism is what the stupid think is smart.
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  4. #4  
    Power CUer FlaGator's Avatar
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    A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender says "What will it be?" The skeleton replies "I'll have a beer and a mop."
    Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.
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  5. #5  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar.

    The bartender looks at them and asks, "Is this some kind of joke?"
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  6. #6  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?"

    Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose."

    And the bartender says, ''Excuse me, I was talking to the goose.''
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  7. #7  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    A gorilla walks into a bar and says, "A scotch on the rocks, please." The gorilla hands the bartender a $10 bill.

    The bartender thinks to himself, "This gorilla doesn't know the prices of drinks," and gives him 15 cents change.

    The bartender says, "You know, we don't get too many gorillas in here."

    The gorilla replies, "Well, at $9.85 a drink, I ain't coming back, either."
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  8. #8  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    A pig walks into a bar and orders drink after drink after drink and never goes to the bathroom.

    The bartender asks, 'Don't you ever have to go to the bathroom?' and the pig replies, 'Nah, I go wee wee wee all the way home.'
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  9. #9  
    Senior Member Dlr Pyro's Avatar
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    The price of freedom is something the protected will never know.

    "Even if Trump didn't pay Russian hookers to pee on one another to defile a bed the Obamas once slept on it sounds like something he would do and that's all that matters." DemocratSinceBirth, Wed Jan 11, 2017, 09:32 AM
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  10. #10  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Two men walk into a bar.

    You’d think at least one of them would have ducked.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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