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  1. #21  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    The Italian government has just placed a lien on the tower of Pisa
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
     

  2. #22  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Did you hear about the baseball player who was thrown out of the game for cursing at the umpire?

    He was way off base.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
     

  3. #23  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    I'm still trying to join the procrastinators support group...

    But they keep postponing the meetings.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
     

  4. #24  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    A woman was brought before the judge for stealing a can of peaches. The judge asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied “six.” “Your sentence shall be six days in jail,” the judge said. “One day for each peach.” Then her husband interrupted: “She stole a can of peas, too"
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
     

  5. #25  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who actually do.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
     

  6. #26  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    As economics change, so do politics.

    You can't buy a politician any more.

    They are all up for leasing.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
     

  7. #27  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    I find relocating to be a very moving experience.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
     

  8. #28  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    I let them put my personality profile into a dating site.

    They matched me with a refrigerator.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
     

  9. #29  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    2 Pacs of Eminems for 50 Cents? Man, that’s Ludacris.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
     

  10. #30  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, pen and cellphone.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
     

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