And more

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The Italian government has just placed a lien on the tower of Pisa

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Did you hear about the baseball player who was thrown out of the game for cursing at the umpire?

He was way off base.

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I'm still trying to join the procrastinators support group...

But they keep postponing the meetings.

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A woman was brought before the judge for stealing a can of peaches. The judge asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied “six.” “Your sentence shall be six days in jail,” the judge said. “One day for each peach.” Then her husband interrupted: “She stole a can of peas, too"

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Those who think they know it all are very annoying to those of us who actually do.

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As economics change, so do politics.

You can't buy a politician any more.

They are all up for leasing.

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I find relocating to be a very moving experience.

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I let them put my personality profile into a dating site.

They matched me with a refrigerator.

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2 Pacs of Eminems for 50 Cents? Man, that’s Ludacris.

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I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, pen and cellphone.