Thread: New angles

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  1. #1 New angles 
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Where Do You Want To Go?

    A pastor was talking to a group of young children about being good and going to heaven. At the end of his talk, he asked, "Where do you want to go?"

    "Heaven!" they all piped up.

    "And what do you have to do to get there?"

    They said, "Be dead!"
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  2. #2  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Way Out West

    The sheriff of a small lawless town way out west walks into the saloon, and shouts for everyone's attention. "Has anyone seen Brown Paper Jake?" he asks.

    "What's he look like?" asks one shoddy looking cowboy.

    "Well," the sheriff answers, "he wears a brown paper hat, a brown paper waistcoat, a brown paper shirt, brown paper boots, brown paper pants, and a brown paper jacket."

    "So what's he wanted for?" asks the same cowboy.

    "Rustlin'," replies the sheriff.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  3. #3  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    The Tooth Fairy

    A little girl sat on her bed crying, She had lost her last baby tooth the day before & when she looked under her pillow in the morning, she discovered that the Tooth Fairy had not left her any tooth money.
    Her mother said "You're a big girl now & you don't believe in tooth fairies, do you?"

    "No", she said - but I still believe in money."
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  4. #4  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Turnabout Is Fair Play...

    Here is a true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued:

    Proctor: I beg your pardon?

    Student: Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale.

    Proctor: Sorry, no.

    Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale.

    At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (rough translation from the Latin):

    "Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require Cakes and Ale".

    Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily slurping away.

    Three weeks later the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
    Reply With Quote  
     

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