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  1. #1 Why Do Some Folks Feel Entitled to Stuff? Read This: 
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    MineralMan (103,009 posts) Why Do Some Folks Feel Entitled to Stuff? Read This:

    I have a next door neighbor. She owns the home to the west of mine. We share a 24' X 75' driveway. For several years, I have used my snowblower to remove snow from that shared driveway, along with the city sidewalk in front of her house, my house, and the house to the east of mine. I do so because my neighbors do not own a snowblower and I do own one. When heavy snow falls, like the 12"+ we received yesterday overnight, it is far easier to remove with a gasoline-powered snowblower than by manual shoveling.

    So, I've routinely cleared my neighbor's side of our shared driveway, along with the city sidewalk in front of her house, after each snowstorm. I do it at the same time I'm clearing my own. It's not a huge amount of extra work, really, but would be if shoveled manually. So, I just do it.

    Today, I did that again. When my shared-driveway neighbor returned home, she knocked on my door and complained that I hadn't removed the snow right down to the asphalt in the driveway on her side, as I had on mine. Well, the reason for that is that she and her son had been out in the middle of the snowstorm tramping around her car, which she had driven onto the driveway only after backing and driving forward multiple times. The ruts, along with all the footprints, had frozen and become too compacted for the snowblower to handle. I explained this to her. "Well, I don't see why you didn't shovel it, then, so it was done right" she said.

    Apparently, she believes that she is somehow entitled to have me clear her driveway perfectly and to her standards after each snowstorm. When she said that, I just looked at her with my mouth agape. She's in her mid-to-late 30s and has a teenaged son. I'm 72 years old. I just turned and went back into my house without saying anything more. I was amazed. She has never once thanked me for clearing her driveway in the past. I don't care. I do it because she doesn't own a snowblower and it's easier for me to do it than it would be for her and her teenaged son to do it.

    But now, I realize that she believes she is entitled to it. I'm not even sure how to react to this. Probably, the next time it snows, I'll just go ahead and clear her side of the driveway again. It's the neighborly thing to do. But, it still puzzles me. She thinks she is entitled to have me do it, and to have me do it to some standard she has in mind. Where did such an idea come from? Now I understand why she hasn't thanked me for doing it over the past 6 or 7 years. She thinks she is entitled to it being done by her neighbor. Such a belief is difficult for me to even understand. I'm at a complete loss at her attitude.

    It's a strange, strange world out there, folks.
    But we're supposed to be thrilled to have the government take our money in taxes and give it to those who prefer not to work because they feel entitled to housing, food, and health care from the government (which comes from money for the work WE do)? Note that I'm not talking about the disabled or elderly, but those who could work.

    Fresh_Start (8,918 posts)

    1. You are such a good man

    The fact that you haven't received thanks in years....and you have received criticism, suggests to me that you are not being treated fairly by this neighbor. Does your neighbor do anything positive for you and your relationship? If not, given she has support (teen age son) you should seriously consider not clearing her driveway after the next snow.

    If she comes over to complain, you can explain you didn't want to risk doing it wrong...and since she hasn't bothered to thank you for the years you have been doing it, you want her to take over the responsibility for her own snow removal.
    MineralMan (103,009 posts)

    5. I do the snow removal out of my own sense of responsibility.

    I don't do it for any reward. It's just my way. A lot of people on my block do the same thing. If they're fortunate enough to have a snowblower, they clear snow for their neighbors, just because. That's how I feel about it. So, that's what I do.

    As I said, I'll probably just keep doing it. It just makes me think about what a strange world that woman must live in. I don't really know her, beyond knowing her name, so I have no idea who she is, really. I'm getting an idea now, though, of who she is. I don't understand it, but...
    The Velveteen Ocelot (56,996 posts)

    8. Next time it snows, don't clear her side, and when she comes over to complain,

    tell her you didn't do it because the last time, she said you didn't do it right. So you decided maybe she would be happier if she were to find someone else who was better at it than you. I know you probably won't do that, but that attitude of entitlement and lack of gratitude is pretty rankling.

    And don't get me started on my next door neighbors, who, with figurative guns blazing and fury in their eyes, pounded on my back door one summer afternoon and demanded that I cut down five mature trees along my side of the property line because there were a few branches rubbing against the power line to their house. I said I would not do that but that they were free to remove the branches on their side of the property line that were rubbing or too close to the wires. Then they demanded I pay for that work. I said no, the law is that if you remove branches from my trees that overhang your property, you are responsible for the cost. They then argued that I had a "moral" obligation to pay for the work. I demurred again, and they stomped off in a fury. A few months later I came home to find that they had "trimmed" those trees well beyond the property line and dumped about 200 lbs. of branches onto my garden.

    Since then they have been poisoning my shrubs and trees all along the property line with Round-Up. Lawyers are now involved.

    I don't understand some people, either.
    bluecollar2 (680 posts)

    9. I realize you are being neighborly

    But due to her lack of grace i suggest lettung her shovel her own snow next time.
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  2. #2  
    MineralMan (103,009 posts) Why Do Some Folks Feel Entitled to Stuff? Read This:

    I have a next door neighbor. She owns the home to the west of mine. We share a 24' X 75' driveway. For several years, I have used my snowblower to remove snow from that shared driveway, along with the city sidewalk in front of her house, my house, and the house to the east of mine. I do so because my neighbors do not own a snowblower and I do own one. When heavy snow falls, like the 12"+ we received yesterday overnight, it is far easier to remove with a gasoline-powered snowblower than by manual shoveling.

    So, I've routinely cleared my neighbor's side of our shared driveway, along with the city sidewalk in front of her house, after each snowstorm. I do it at the same time I'm clearing my own. It's not a huge amount of extra work, really, but would be if shoveled manually. So, I just do it.

    Today, I did that again. When my shared-driveway neighbor returned home, she knocked on my door and complained that I hadn't removed the snow right down to the asphalt in the driveway on her side, as I had on mine. Well, the reason for that is that she and her son had been out in the middle of the snowstorm tramping around her car, which she had driven onto the driveway only after backing and driving forward multiple times. The ruts, along with all the footprints, had frozen and become too compacted for the snowblower to handle. I explained this to her. "Well, I don't see why you didn't shovel it, then, so it was done right" she said.

    Apparently, she believes that she is somehow entitled to have me clear her driveway perfectly and to her standards after each snowstorm. When she said that, I just looked at her with my mouth agape. She's in her mid-to-late 30s and has a teenaged son. I'm 72 years old. I just turned and went back into my house without saying anything more. I was amazed. She has never once thanked me for clearing her driveway in the past. I don't care. I do it because she doesn't own a snowblower and it's easier for me to do it than it would be for her and her teenaged son to do it.

    But now, I realize that she believes she is entitled to it. I'm not even sure how to react to this. Probably, the next time it snows, I'll just go ahead and clear her side of the driveway again. It's the neighborly thing to do. But, it still puzzles me. She thinks she is entitled to have me do it, and to have me do it to some standard she has in mind. Where did such an idea come from? Now I understand why she hasn't thanked me for doing it over the past 6 or 7 years. She thinks she is entitled to it being done by her neighbor. Such a belief is difficult for me to even understand. I'm at a complete loss at her attitude.

    It's a strange, strange world out there, folks.
    The neighbor is probably pissed off that you still have your Kwanzaa lights up.
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  3. #3  
    eeeevil Sith Admin SarasotaRepub's Avatar
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    Sounds like a self serving
    May the FORCE be with you!
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  4. #4  
    PORCUS STAPHUS ADMIN Rockntractor's Avatar
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    He didn't mention if she was hot but at 72 all 30 year olds are probably hot to him.
    "If the Bible is true why don't we have any urns or vessels that like say expires 6/15/300 BC on the bottom?"
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  5. #5  
    Power CUer FlaGator's Avatar
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    Mineral Man is not a good man. If he does something extra and is expecting some type of gratitude in return then he is doing it for the wrong reason. You do good because it is the right thing to do and if you receive gratitude in return then that is a bonus. If you do something expecting someone to respond with gratitude then you are motivated by your own need for approval.
    Cast your burden on the Lord,
    and he will sustain you;
    he will never permit
    the righteous to be moved.
    Psalm 55:22
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  6. #6  
    Power CUer noonwitch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FlaGator View Post
    Mineral Man is not a good man. If he does something extra and is expecting some type of gratitude in return then he is doing it for the wrong reason. You do good because it is the right thing to do and if you receive gratitude in return then that is a bonus. If you do something expecting someone to respond with gratitude then you are motivated by your own need for approval.

    My neighbor does my sidewalk with his snowblower when we get a storm. It's nice and I always tell him thank you.

    My brother is the kind who always finds something to bitch about. If you have a family party, he never contributes any food. But he'll eat something I made, like spinach pie, and bitch about all the butter upsetting his stomach. Or I changed a recipe that had walnuts in it and substituted rice crispies (so our sister with Crohn's Disease could eat it) and he bitched about that. Some people are just buttheads.
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  7. #7  
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    My advice to Mineral man is to stop doing the driveway and sidewalk in front of her house NOW! Lets look at the facts: She has never said thank you, NOR has she ever asked for him to do it, he took it on himself. Now she complains its not up to standard as it leaves exposed ice (which he admits to) and hard packed snow.


    So She or son or both go outside, slip on the hard pack snow or ice and break an arm....can you see the lawsuit coming?? Even if she loses its gonna cost you to defend.
    Don
    Major US Army Infantry (RET)
    Hill Country of Texas

    Conservative, Constitutionalist, Capitalist, Christian. I speak: John Wayne, Johnny Cash and John Deere...
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