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  1. #1 And more 
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    A police officer is finishing a ticket and the woman driver says “I thought police officers didn’t give tickets to beautiful women”.

    The officer replies “We don’t. Here’s your ticket”.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  2. #2  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    I put my food in the microwave and pressed the “pizza” button.

    When I opened the door it was still beans!

    I’m not sure what I’m doing wrong?
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  3. #3  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    She was sure her herbal recipe would win the 30-minute cooking contest.

    After all, she was a seasoned cook.

    But alas, she ran out of thyme.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  4. #4  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    My wife insists I’m too nosy.

    Why do you think that?

    I read it in her diary.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  5. #5  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction,

    plus a social media overreaction.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  6. #6  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    There was a raid on the chicken coop.

    All indications point to fowl play.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  7. #7  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    I am not gorging on brownies.

    I am removing temptation.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  8. #8  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    If there were any justice in this world, people would occasionally be able to fly over pigeons.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
    Reply With Quote  
     

  9. #9  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Consider this:

    The highway to hell andthe stairway to heaven says a lot about the expected traffic.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  10. #10  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?



    I represent that remark!
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
    Reply With Quote  
     

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