Page 10 of 10 FirstFirst ... 8910
Results 91 to 100 of 100
  1. #91  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    I came to Texas as soon as I could
    Posts
    15,954
    There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

    Only a fraction of people will find this funny.

    And they ae divided.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
     

  2. #92  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    I came to Texas as soon as I could
    Posts
    15,954
    After the church service a little boy told the minister, “When I grow up I’m going to give you some money.”

    “Well, thank you,” the minister replied, “but why?”

    “Because my daddy says you’re one of the poorest preachers we’ve ever had.”
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
     

  3. #93  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    I came to Texas as soon as I could
    Posts
    15,954
    In 1950, we had one of the first remote-controlled TVs.

    Dad would say, “Hey, change it to Channel 11.” And I would.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
     

  4. #94  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    I came to Texas as soon as I could
    Posts
    15,954
    Archeologists recently unearthed the widely scattered bones of some early humans who appeared to have roamed hundreds of miles with no specific habitat.

    They designated their new discovery “Meanderthal man.”
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
     

  5. #95  
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    Posts
    941
    Did you write for Rodney Dangerfield?
    NEWS FLASH: Jeff Sessions arrested in the lobby of the Department of Justice for loitering. Details to follow.
     

  6. #96  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    I came to Texas as soon as I could
    Posts
    15,954
    Quote Originally Posted by old dog View Post
    Did you write for Rodney Dangerfield?
    I steal without shame.

    Don't wait until you are on your deathbed to tell people how you feel.

    You might be too weak to lift your middle finger.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
     

  7. #97  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    I came to Texas as soon as I could
    Posts
    15,954
    I shook hands with my Congressman yesterday.

    I didn't mean to.

    I was reaching for my wallet.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
     

  8. #98  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    I came to Texas as soon as I could
    Posts
    15,954
    Isn't it great to live in a society where the penalty for lying to a congressman is up to 20 years in jail,

    ...but the penalty for a congressman lying to you is two more years in office.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
     

  9. #99  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    I came to Texas as soon as I could
    Posts
    15,954
    They told me I should recycle, so I went for another bike ride.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
     

  10. #100  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    I came to Texas as soon as I could
    Posts
    15,954
    My wife threw a bottle of omega-3 pills and hit me on my head.

    Now I have super fish oil injuries.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
     

Bookmarks
Bookmarks
Posting Permissions
  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •