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  1. #21  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    I once tried to pack myself in a small suitcase.

    I couldn’t contain myself.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  2. #22  
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    I’d like to start today with chimney jokes — I’ve got a stack of them.


    The first one is on the house.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  3. #23  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    We never really grow up — we only learn how to act in public.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  4. #24  
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    You do not need a parachute to skydive.

    You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  5. #25  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    The little girl next door is in big trouble.

    I just heard her mother call her “young lady”.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  6. #26  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  7. #27  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Never in the history of calming down has anyone ever calmed down by being told to calm down.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  8. #28  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    When Dracula rearranges the furniture in his house, he uses Fang-Shui.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  9. #29  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    I was taught to respect my elders.

    I’m having a hard time finding one.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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  10. #30  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    I’m not afraid of heights …

    I can look up at a mountain all day.

    It’s depths that disturb me.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    A man is but a product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes. Gandhi
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