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  1. #1 The 10 Most Terrifyingly Inspirational '80s Songs 
    Senior Member Rebel Yell's Avatar
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    #9."Wanted (Dead or Alive)" by Bon Jovi
    This song was written in that small window of the '80s when a blue collar steelworker from New Jersey with a terminal case of hockey hair could write songs about being a cowboy and be taken seriously. It was a very small window; it really only encased this one song. When he tried to repeat its success with "Blaze of Glory," the whole thing became laughable (when Bon Jovi insists that he is a "Colt in your stable," a lyric which may be the most unintentionally gay thing anybody ever said, ever, throughout time).

    Still, in "Wanted" when he throws up his fist and says he's seen a million faces and rocked them all, we believe him. We want to spend the rest of our lives rocking faces.



    The Only Way It Could Be Better:
    The song is a bipolar narrative, with Bon Jovi emotionally wandering from the depths of the deepest stone-washed denim blues to the highest peak of cock-rocker euphoria. One minute he's lamenting "Sometimes you tell the day/By the bottle that you drink/And times when you're all alone all you do is think." Then almost immediately extolling that he’s rocked all those aforementioned faces.

    Incidentally, if you have had your face rocked at any point by Bon Jovi, please seek prompt medical attention. It is highly probable you have contracted something doctors are referring to as "super-chlamydia."

    Best Things to Do While Listening:
    This is a song best suited for strapping on a six-shooter or saddling up a motorcycle. Anything, really, that one could conceivably do to let others know that you have a large penis and are not afraid to use it.

    The whole thing, hell the whole site, is hilarious.
    http://www.cracked.com/article_15636...80s-songs.html
    I feel that once a black fella has referred to white foks as "honky paleface devil white-trash cracker redneck Caspers," he's abdicated the right to get upset about the "N" word. But that's just me. -- Jim Goad
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  2. #2  
    I did not see ZZ Top's 'Velcro Fly' on this list. Truly terrifying, truly 80s. :D
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  3. #3  
    Senior Member DarkScribe's Avatar
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    Gee, I kinda liked Bon Jovi's "Wanted Dead or Alive" song. Anyway, my vote is for Rick Astley. Hate the friggin song, "Never Gonna Give You Up." Ugh. :eek:
    "The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown." H.P. Lovecraft in Supernatural Horror in Literature
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    Junior Member Penguins Fan's Avatar
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    Speaking of Rick Astley.....

    In May of 1988, I had a temp job that lasted all of two weeks in downtown Cleveland. My cube was right next to a guy who listened to a Top 40 station all day long. If it wasn't Rick Astley, it was "Shattered Dreams" every 45 minutes.

    Damn, I hated that job.

    In the most ridiculous band names, they somehow overlooked Blotto.

    As for ZZTop, I never hear my favorite song from them anymore..."TV Dinners".
    The Pittsburgh Penguins - 2007-08 NHL Eastern Conference Champions
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  5. #5  
    Senior Member namvet's Avatar
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    I love the 80's music. it was ass kickin. have my own collection. some really good artists stepped up to the plate then.
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    Senior Betwixt Member Bubba Dawg's Avatar
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    God thread. Was the Police doing "Every Breath You Take" eighties? If so, it it truly creepy in a dangerous obsessive stalking sort of way.

    And some people play it at their wedding.
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  7. #7  
    Senior Member namvet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bubba Dawg View Post
    God thread. Was the Police doing "Every Breath You Take" eighties? If so, it it truly creepy in a dangerous obsessive stalking sort of way.

    And some people play it at their wedding.
    yes. but what was bad about it????
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  8. #8  
    Senior Member namvet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebel Yell View Post
    The whole thing, hell the whole site, is hilarious.
    http://www.cracked.com/article_15636...80s-songs.html
    rebel yell
    http://youtube.com/watch?v=ToeY7MkCm0c
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  9. #9  
    Senior Betwixt Member Bubba Dawg's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by namvet View Post
    yes. but what was bad about it????
    It sounds like it's about an obsessed ex lover who watches every move and every breath of the object of his "affection."

    Sting said of people who play it at their weddings....'good luck.'
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  10. #10  
    Senior Member namvet's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bubba Dawg View Post
    It sounds like it's about an obsessed ex lover who watches every move and every breath of the object of his "affection."

    Sting said of people who play it at their weddings....'good luck.'
    and it happens in real life. believe it or not. poeple really do get obsessed with each other. oh well..........
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