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  1. #1 5 Celebrities Most Likely To Die In 09 
    An Adversary of Linda #'s
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    5. Andy Dick
    Mr. Dick is known for getting totally wasted and yelling at people and pulling his wang out and doing tons of drugs.

    Likely Cause of Death:
    The man loves drugs, and if the rumors about his sexuality are to be believed, he loves wangs, too. So I’m guessing he’s going to accidentally snort a wang one day and die of whatever happens to you when you snort a wang.
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    4. Paula Deen
    This Food Network favorite rose to popularity with her folksy southern charm and her ability to turn any meal into an artery clogging heart attack on a plate. I watch more Food Network than I’d like to admit, and I hope Paula lives a long, long life, but you can’t eat nothing but deep fried butter bacon until the Grim Reaper shows up for dinner.

    Likely Cause of Death:
    I’m not sure if medical science has a name for what’s going to take Paula down, yet, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to be something like “sausage lung,” “fatblood” or “mayonnaise lump.” Just look at her grocery list:
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    3. Rod Blagojevich
    The Rodster went from being a no-name nobody governor to the poster boy for corruption and blow drying when he allegedly attempted to sell Obama’s senate seat to the highest bidder.

    Likely Cause of Death:
    There’s a good chance that a lot of high-powered people in Chicago are worried that Rod’s going to say some things that could bring others down with him. High powered people know people who can make “accidents” happen. And since his hair is clearly a weakness, I wouldn’t be surprised if Blago “accidentally” used this shampoo.
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    2. Axl Rose
    Paler, fatter and braid-ier, W. Axl Rose finally released “Chinese Democracy” this year to a resounding chorus of, “Hey, remember when we all used to love hair metal? Yeah, that was kind of a mistake.”

    Likely Cause of Death:
    The failure of “Chinese Democracy” will be too much for him to take. The strain and mental exhaustion of realizing no one cares about Guns N’ Roses anymore will cause Axl to slip into coma, taking him out of the media spotlight where he will die 15 years later.
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    1. Karl Malden
    The man has been in tons of classic movies like “On the Waterfront,” “A Streetcar named Desire,” and “Patton.”

    Likely Cause of Death:
    The man is also 96 years old. We’re pretty much just playing the odds on this one.

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    Honorable Mentions (Or, People We Couldn't Put On The List Because They Were Too Obvious, Not In Good Taste, Or Because The Secret Service Might Pay Us A Visit)

    Amy Winehouse
    Patrick Swayze
    Barack Obama
    Pete Dougherty
    The World's Fattest Man
    Courtney Love
    Owen Wilson
    OJ Simpson
    Stephen Hawking
    Farrah Fawcett
    That guy in the wheelchair on "Celebrity Rehab"
    Come to think of it, everyone on "Celebrity Rehab"


    http://www.holytaco.com/6-celebritie...-likely-die-09
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  2. #2  
    Sonnabend
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    Michael Jackson: pretty soon it's all just gonna fall off....:D
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  3. #3  
    Power CUer noonwitch's Avatar
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    The last photo I saw of Axl Rose-man, I think I'd put him ahead of Karl Malden. My grandpa is 96 and still mows his own lawn. Once they decide they are going to outlive their spouses and contemporaries, old people with stable health can go on for a while. Lauren Bacall is the same kind of situation, although I didn't see her on the list.


    Axl looks like he needs Celebrity Rehab as much as his pathetic ex-drummer does.
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  4. #4  
    Andy Dick isn't going to die because of drugs, he's going to die because he will be beaten to death by normal people who don't share his interest in his own crotch.
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  5. #5  
    Power CUer FlaGator's Avatar
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    On a side note, I feel that their will be a suicide attempt from Lynsey Lohan because that is the only attention getting ploy she hasn't tried.

    I believe in Christianity as I believe that the sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.
    C. S. Lewis
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  6. #6  
    Quote Originally Posted by FlaGator View Post
    On a side note, I feel that their will be a suicide attempt from Lynsey Lohan because that is the only attention getting ploy she hasn't tried.
    She hasn't tried IVF with her "man" yet. Just sayin'. :D
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  7. #7  
    Senior Member GrumpyOldLady's Avatar
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    I feel bad for Farrah Fawcett. And we really have no idea what her real status is.
    All the reports of her condition contradict each other.

    I hope Patrick Swayze beats the odds. From what I read he's a nice guy.
    Not 'hollyweird' at all.
    If leftists didn't have double standards, they'd have no standards at all.
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  8. #8  
    LTC Member Odysseus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by megimoo View Post
    5. Andy Dick
    4. Paula Deen
    3. Rod Blagojevich
    2. Axl Rose
    1. Karl Malden[/B]
    Amy Winehouse
    Patrick Swayze
    Barack Obama
    Pete Dougherty
    The World's Fattest Man
    Courtney Love
    Owen Wilson
    OJ Simpson
    Stephen Hawking
    Farrah Fawcett
    That guy in the wheelchair on "Celebrity Rehab"
    Come to think of it, everyone on "Celebrity Rehab"
    I despise our culture of fawning celebrity worship, but what makes this truly vile is the sick speculation on the mortality of strangers. That having been said, why should we even care about any of these people? This list contains only a few people who are genuinely newsworthy (Hotrod, Obama, Hawking and, to a lesser degree, OJ), but what makes the rest of them worthy of our attention as a society and a nation, besides their ability to look good (or bad) in front of a camera?

    Has anyone noticed that our culture is incapable of dealing with real heroism, that people who actually demonstrate courage, responsibility or honor are hardly ever mentioned in our media (and when they are, they are often derided by our elites)?
    --Odysseus
    Sic Hacer Pace, Para Bellum.

    Before you can do things for people, you must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the people!
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  9. #9  
    Power CUer noonwitch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gingersnap View Post
    Andy Dick isn't going to die because of drugs, he's going to die because he will be beaten to death by normal people who don't share his interest in his own crotch.
    I'm hooked on Celebrity Rehab, and I saw that when the new season starts in the "sober living" group home, that Andy will be joining the group. Maybe Dr. Drew will save him? Either that, or Gary Busey will kick his butt.
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  10. #10  
    LTC Member Odysseus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by noonwitch View Post
    I'm hooked on Celebrity Rehab, and I saw that when the new season starts in the "sober living" group home, that Andy will be joining the group. Maybe Dr. Drew will save him? Either that, or Gary Busey will kick his butt.
    Trying to prove my point, are you? Why do you care whether Andy Dick or Gary Busey make it through rehab? Except for their value as lab rats for testing the effectiveness of substance abuse programs, I can't imagine why anyone would take an interest in the string of press releases and publicity scams that make up their train-wreck lives.
    --Odysseus
    Sic Hacer Pace, Para Bellum.

    Before you can do things for people, you must be the kind of man who can get things done. But to get things done, you must love the doing, not the people!
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