5. Andy Dick
Mr. Dick is known for getting totally wasted and yelling at people and pulling his wang out and doing tons of drugs.
Likely Cause of Death:
The man loves drugs, and if the rumors about his sexuality are to be believed, he loves wangs, too. So I’m guessing he’s going to accidentally snort a wang one day and die of whatever happens to you when you snort a wang.
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4. Paula Deen
This Food Network favorite rose to popularity with her folksy southern charm and her ability to turn any meal into an artery clogging heart attack on a plate. I watch more Food Network than I’d like to admit, and I hope Paula lives a long, long life, but you can’t eat nothing but deep fried butter bacon until the Grim Reaper shows up for dinner.
Likely Cause of Death:
I’m not sure if medical science has a name for what’s going to take Paula down, yet, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to be something like “sausage lung,” “fatblood” or “mayonnaise lump.” Just look at her grocery list:
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3. Rod Blagojevich
The Rodster went from being a no-name nobody governor to the poster boy for corruption and blow drying when he allegedly attempted to sell Obama’s senate seat to the highest bidder.
Likely Cause of Death:
There’s a good chance that a lot of high-powered people in Chicago are worried that Rod’s going to say some things that could bring others down with him. High powered people know people who can make “accidents” happen. And since his hair is clearly a weakness, I wouldn’t be surprised if Blago “accidentally” used this shampoo.
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2. Axl Rose
Paler, fatter and braid-ier, W. Axl Rose finally released “Chinese Democracy” this year to a resounding chorus of, “Hey, remember when we all used to love hair metal? Yeah, that was kind of a mistake.”
Likely Cause of Death:
The failure of “Chinese Democracy” will be too much for him to take. The strain and mental exhaustion of realizing no one cares about Guns N’ Roses anymore will cause Axl to slip into coma, taking him out of the media spotlight where he will die 15 years later.
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1. Karl Malden
The man has been in tons of classic movies like “On the Waterfront,” “A Streetcar named Desire,” and “Patton.”
Likely Cause of Death:
The man is also 96 years old. We’re pretty much just playing the odds on this one.
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Honorable Mentions (Or, People We Couldn't Put On The List Because They Were Too Obvious, Not In Good Taste, Or Because The Secret Service Might Pay Us A Visit)
Amy Winehouse
Patrick Swayze
Barack Obama
Pete Dougherty
The World's Fattest Man
Courtney Love
Owen Wilson
OJ Simpson
Stephen Hawking
Farrah Fawcett
That guy in the wheelchair on "Celebrity Rehab"
Come to think of it, everyone on "Celebrity Rehab"
http://www.holytaco.com/6-celebritie...-likely-die-09
Originally Posted by FlaGator
