Thread: Itís FLA!

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  1. #1 Itís FLA! 
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    PORT CHARLOTTE, Fla. ó A Florida woman said lightning destroyed her septic tank and caused a toilet in her house to explode.

    Marylou Ward told television station WINK News that the sole toilet in her Port Charlotte home shattered into hundreds of pieces Sunday.

    Ward said the explosion was the loudest sound sheís ever heard, and she also smelled smoke.

    She said a plumber told her lightning hit the methane gas that was built up in the pipes from feces.

    Ward said sheíll have to get the toilet and septic system repaired, but sheís thankful no one was injured.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  2. #2  
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    Hungry 5-year-old calls 911 for pizza

    SANFORD, Fla. ó A Florida boy who called 911 to report he was hungry and wanted a pizza got a lesson in proper emergency call etiquette, but he also got a pie.

    The Sanford Police Department said in a Facebook post the hungry 5-year-old called 911 last Friday.

    Three officers responded to the home in suburban Orlando for a wellbeing check. They met with the boy and his older sister, who told them they were fine and that her brother had used the phone without her knowledge.

    The officers explained the 911 system is only for emergencies. Then they went to Pizza Hut and brought a large pizza back to the house.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  3. #3  
    eeeevil Sith Admin SarasotaRepub's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Retread View Post
    Hungry 5-year-old calls 911 for pizza

    SANFORD, Fla. ó A Florida boy who called 911 to report he was hungry and wanted a pizza got a lesson in proper emergency call etiquette, but he also got a pie.

    The Sanford Police Department said in a Facebook post the hungry 5-year-old called 911 last Friday.

    Three officers responded to the home in suburban Orlando for a wellbeing check. They met with the boy and his older sister, who told them they were fine and that her brother had used the phone without her knowledge.

    The officers explained the 911 system is only for emergencies. Then they went to Pizza Hut and brought a large pizza back to the house.
    Well those cops were clearly RACIST!!!!!
    May the FORCE be with you!
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  4. #4  
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    Quote Originally Posted by SarasotaRepub View Post
    Well those cops were clearly RACIST!!!!!
    So was the toilet.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  5. #5  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    No comment

    PUNTA GORDA, Fla. ó Officials say a Florida woman who pulled a small alligator from her yoga pants during a traffic stop and illegally possessed numerous other wild animals has been sentenced to probation after pleading guilty to four charges.

    Florida prosecutors say a Charlotte County sheriffís deputy stopped a pickup in May after it ran a stop sign. The driver, 22-year-old driver Michael Clemons, told the deputy he and his 25-year-old passenger, Ariel Machan-Le Quire, were collecting frogs and snakes under an overpass. He gave the deputy permission to search bags in the truck.

    When the deputy found 41 3-stripe turtles in a ďTeenage Mutant Ninja TurtleĒ backpack, he asked if Machan-Le Quire had anything else. She pulled the 1-foot gator from her pants.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
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  6. #6  
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    Chips, Reeseís ó and a raccoon

    DELTONA, Fla. ó Police say a raccoon trapped in a vending machine at a Florida high school is now free.

    Volusia County Sheriffís spokesman Andrew Gant says a deputy stationed at Pine Ridge High School was notified of the trapped raccoon Wednesday and called animal control for assistance. A vending machine operator was also contacted to unlock the door.

    They rolled the vending machine to an open area of the school, and after about two hours the raccoon was set free.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
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  7. #7  
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    Quote Originally Posted by Retread View Post
    So was the toilet.
    I hear Kamala Harris has a new plan to combat racist toilets.
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  8. #8  
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    WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. ó A New York coupleís luxurious Florida vacation home has been taken over by dozens of black vultures that are vomiting and defecating everywhere.

    The Palm Beach Post reports the Casimano family canít even visit the $702,000 home they purchased earlier this year in the Ibis Golf and Country Club. Siobhan Casimano described the smell as ďlike a thousand rotting corpses,Ē and said vultures have destroyed their screened enclosures, overtaken the pool and dented their cars with their beaks.

    Neighbor Cheryl Katz has also complained about the issue. She said another neighbor excessively feeds vultures, causing them to keep returning.

    Neighborhood president Gordon Holness said the association is somewhat limited in what they can do because the vultures are migratory birds protected by federal law.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
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    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  9. #9  
    Senior Member Tecate's Avatar
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    We have a family of buzzards where I work. I guess they nest on the ground, not far from the main employee entrance where they can charge up their smartphones. I see them perched on top of the building just waiting for something to die so they can peck its eyeballs out. I saw them cleaning up a squirrel that someone had run over just the other day.
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  10. #10  
    eeeevil Sith Admin SarasotaRepub's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Retread View Post
    WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. ó A New York coupleís luxurious Florida vacation home has been taken over by dozens of black vultures that are vomiting and defecating everywhere.

    The Palm Beach Post reports the Casimano family canít even visit the $702,000 home they purchased earlier this year in the Ibis Golf and Country Club. Siobhan Casimano described the smell as ďlike a thousand rotting corpses,Ē and said vultures have destroyed their screened enclosures, overtaken the pool and dented their cars with their beaks.

    Neighbor Cheryl Katz has also complained about the issue. She said another neighbor excessively feeds vultures, causing them to keep returning.

    Neighborhood president Gordon Holness said the association is somewhat limited in what they can do because the vultures are migratory birds protected by federal law.

    That other "neighbor" needs a "talking" to...

    There is no way I'd put up with this shit. In fact,
    I'd shovel the bird shit over to that other "neighbor"
    so they can share in the odor!!!
    May the FORCE be with you!
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