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  1. #1 Iím in so much trouble... 
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

    "Dear Mrs. Harris,
    the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

    June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other peopleís carts when they werenít looking.

    July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the womenís restroom.

    August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.

    August 14: Moved a ĎCAUTION - WET FLOORí sign to a carpeted area.

    September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

    Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the Ď Mission Impossibleí theme.

    Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ĎPICK ME! PICK ME!í

    And last, but not least:

    Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, ĎHey! Thereís no toilet paper in here.í At this - one of the clerks passed out!"
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
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  2. #2  
    Drive-by Poster ABC's Avatar
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    Oh my!

    At least Mr. Harris and his escapades made me laugh and held my interest ...

    Far longer than did the DEM debate tonight!!!

    Good one, Retread!

    American By Choice ~ 1980

    LIFE, LIBERTY, AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS ...

    NOT SOCIALISM!!!
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  3. #3  
    eeeevil Sith Admin SarasotaRepub's Avatar
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    An oldie but goodie...
    May the FORCE be with you!
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  4. #4  
    Senior Member enslaved1's Avatar
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    Over the years, Mr. Harris has been banned from Kmart and Walmart, I guess he's moving up in the world if he can afford to be kicked out of Target.

    Personally, I really want to do the alarm clock one somewhere.
    Romans 6:18 You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.

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