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  1. #11  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    I can tell if someone is lying just by looking at them

    Oh, yeah?

    Yes and I can tell if they are standing as well.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  2. #12  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    I heard someone stole your antidepressants?


    Yes, and I hope he’s happy.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  3. #13  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    How are your trips to the gym going?


    Not so hot. I sat on the rowing machine and it sank.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  4. #14  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Are you still lifting balloons for exercise?


    Nah, I quit. It wasn’t really working out.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  5. #15  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    The best thing about the country moving to the left .....


    It’ll be a much shorter trip yo Honolulu.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  6. #16  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Don’t worry Dave, this is a simple operation.

    But doc, my name’s not Dave.

    I know, it’s mine.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  7. #17  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Where is the average product made?


    At the satisfactory.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  8. #18  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Your girlfriend told me you never buy her flowers!


    I didn’t even know she sold them.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  9. #19  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Ben: I’m a mind reader.

    Tim: Prove it.

    Ben: Right now you think I’m lying.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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  10. #20  
    Ancient Fire Breather Retread's Avatar
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    Nurse: The defibrillator is broken!

    Patient: Can’t say I’m not shocked.
    It's not how old you are, it's how you got here.
    It's been a long road and not all of it was paved.
    . If you ain't havin' fun, it's your own damn fault
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